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Every year I make new year’s resolutions. They’re always the usual sort of thing. I’m going to get fit, be healthy and stop drinking too much wine. Do I keep them? Never ever ever.

First of all, it’s the wrong time of year to make such resolutions. January as the month of virtue? No thank you. There’s all the Christmas chocolate to eat, it’s cold, and you’ve just spent half a month with your relatives and/or travelling up and down the country. This is no time of year to be doing something silly like promising yourself you’ll stop drinking, or eat healthy. We expect too much of ourselves. You cannot suddenly become a slender wonder woman if until December 31st you have been a chocolate-loving lush who doesn’t like to get off the sofa.

Now April resolutions, those I could get on board with. Summer is coming, and there are reasons to be cheerful other than food and drink in abundance. Why don’t we have those?

But anyway, owing to the usually disastrous state of my new year resolutions, I am going to try to make one I will actually keep this year. Last year, I promised myself I would do 30 minutes of Yoga every morning and become trim and toned and lovely. For the first week, I did 30 minutes of Yoga a day, then 20, and by February it was 10 minutes a day. I’ve kept up that ten minutes (I usually, though, do it with the telly on, which isn’t very zen of me, is it?) but I am still filled with a sense of my own failure. New Year’s Resolutions are designed to make you feel like a worthless lump with no self-control.

So this year, I am going to make some resolutions that I might realistically keep. I haven’t decided on them yet, but here are the options:
1. I will stop chugging the drink I’m drinking just because I want to try a different drink. That is greedy.
2. I will stop wearing my running kit when it is slightly damp because I forgot to take it out of the washing machine until I wanted to go for my next run. That is disgusting.
3. I will stop peering over the shoulder of everyone reading a kindle to see if they are reading my novel. That is creepy.

So there they are. Much more reasonable in my opinion!

Please put your own realistic New Year’s Resolutions in the comments! Let’s all not expect too much of ourselves 😉