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You’ve had dating advice from Shakespeare, but now bask in the wise advice of the Father of the English Language!

Deere Maistre Chaucer 
Love Advice from the Fourteenth Century 


Deere Maistre Chaucer,
I’m a young widow thinking of marrying again, but I am having some reservations. I’m in love, and this new man’s certainly much younger and more handsome than my old husband, but I’m just not sure if I should marry again so soon.
Eager but Confused, Bath 

Wytte ye welle, Godde ynne alle hys wysdome wolde natt have yeven ladye partes that fytted so welle togidyrs with mannes partes yf he deyde nat wante yow to make use thereof. Y seye yow marrye and be happye! Whatte cowde go wronge?

Deere Maistre Chaucer,
I’m in a long-distance relationship, and it’s really difficult. I’m not sure if I love him anymore, and he’s become jealous and possessive. What should I do?
Torn, Troy

Herken ye welle at the advys I will gyve yow. Fynde ye a more handsomer manne close to where yow are. In especiall, if yow can, he sholde be one of thnne exes enemyes. Thys ys evir a goode planne and maketh for goode tayles.

Deere Maistre Chaucer,
My best friend and I are in love with the same girl. She’s the most perfect girl in the world, but he’s my best friend. Still, I saw her first. What should I do? Is it bros before hoes or finders keepers?
Conflicted, Thebes 

Soothe that ys a harde tale. Yf Y were yow, I would go thee unto that wommes kepar and telle him that yow muste marye her. Worye nat about thye frend, Y am sure he wolle take yt welle. There ys no resoune why thys shoulde ende wyth some kynde of excytynge tragedie…

Deere Maistre Chaucer,
I’ve got the hots for this old guy who lives round the corner’s wife. He’s old, so that’s fair game, right?
– Horny, London

Do as thou list, but be natt pokynge your buttockes out of any wyndowes yn case thou havest a nastye surpryse…